"I just want to not be at the end of my life and think about my life. Well, you had 10 great years in professional football and this is what everybody is talking about and not really pushed myself to really experience it all" — André Schürrle, World Cup winner at 23.
A soccer player who dreamed of nothing else as a little boy, dedicated his life to the thing everyone said he should and found himself wanting more. André Schürrle, World Champion at 23, retired at 29 to find out what else he was made of.
His quote has been living rent-free in my head for weeks. Not because it's sad. Because it's about hunger.
There's this thing I heard Brent Beshore talk about — clean fuel versus dirty fuel. Clean fuel is the pure stuff. Love of the game. Joy of the process. Intrinsic motivation.
Dirty fuel? That's the chip on your shoulder. The doubters. The fear of being nobody. The rage at being overlooked.
The more people I talk to, the more I realize life is not a purity contest. So when Brent says clean fuel is better, I push back. The counter argument is dirty fuel never runs out.
Clean fuel gets you out of bed when everything's going well. Dirty fuel gets you out of bed when everything's falling apart. The mix — that unstable, combustible mix — is how you figure out what your actual limit is.
Going all in isn't about being reckless. It's about being honest. Honest about what you're actually chasing versus what you think you should be chasing.
André spent 20 years chasing what football demanded. Medals. Contracts. Recognition. He got it all — World Cup champion, Premier League, Bundesliga — only to look around and wonder: “Is this really it?”
The treadmill keeps running and you keep running on it because at least you know what running feels like.
Eventually André jumped off, as did I. Not to retire. To go find out what happens when you strip away everything external and ask: What do I actually want to see in this life?
We both chose the solitude of endurance sports to see where it would take us.
Crazy? Maybe. More alive than ever before? Absolutely.
Going all in doesn't mean you have all the answers. It means you're willing to find out.
To me the opposite of going all in is living someone else's definition of success and calling it yours.
So what will make you look back and say: “Yeah. I went for it. I found my limit. I didn't leave anything on the table.”
That mix of clean and dirty fuel? That's not a bug. That's the feature.
Go all in. Not because success is guaranteed. Because playing it safe is the riskiest thing you can do.
Jan.
